Pressures of the Late Twenties

2016 is the year I turn 27 (it took me a while to figure this out, I even had to do the calculation) and that scares me shitless. Not because I am scared of getting older but because time is just moving so fast that I feel like I can’t keep up. I have mentioned here before how 25 was supposed to be the age where my life would be on track properly (this included owning a house, being married and having a kid or two). What a warped idea of life I had when I set that goal.

I still feel like I am 17. I make stupid mistakes daily, a lot of the time it’s the same mistakes over and over again. I am nowhere near to being a big shot in my career, I am even further from owning a house and I certainly do not feel like a 27 year old women, I mean I cannot even stand up for myself when something is irritating me, I choose to keep quiet, like a naïve 17 year old.

Why am I saying all of this again? Because of the pressure. I don’t know how normal it is to feel this much pressure in your twenties? How much can everything really change in three years? (I hope in three years I will look back on that question and answer it with a lot) Am I going to reach my thirties and still feel like I haven’t come far enough? Thirty is only three years away and I need about two of those to sort myself and my finances out.

I read so many blog posts by thirty something’s who look back on their twenties and wish that they had spent less time worrying because it all works out and I am sure it will for me eventually but in the meantime I have to deal with the reality and reality sucks – 27 with no savings? 27 with no plans on having kids anytime soon? 27 and in piles of debt? 27 and no drivers license? It is all so scary and daunting.

Of course, there are things I have done and achieved in my twenties but it is nowhere near where I want to be and that is due to mistakes, unrealistic timelines, comparison and life. Why we feel the need to put an age to a certain step in life is beyond me, but we do it and then we feel shit about it when we haven’t succeeded with out stupid timelines.

If you want to take the positive out of the twenties, it is that you learn and you start to find and know yourself which helps put you on the path for the rest of your life.

As you get older, time seems to go faster and you can either sink or swim. Right now, I am floating. I don’t feel like I am really getting anywhere but I haven’t sunk so I guess that’s something?

 

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4 thoughts on “Pressures of the Late Twenties

  1. Ha! I just blogged about how in 6 years I will be FIFTY! 5.0. And you know what? I still feel like I’m 17 too then I look in the mirror and get a shock!
    Just go for it girl, grab life by the balls and just DO IT! xx

  2. I love being 30! I loved it from the very first day. I loved the idea of it from the moment I turned 23. Being in your twenties is down right awful. So much to prove, grow and do. SO much pressure to get your crap together. Zero about having fun and living life because everybody will look at you like a failure and a bum if you don’t study/work/take over the world in 10 short years.

    I love being 30 because I really don’t care anymore what people think – You don’t like me? That’s ok. You won’t hire me? Your loss, somebody else will. What are your passions? I’m trying to not die so that takes up a lot of my time right now. What is your 5 year plan? No cooking clue. Ask me in 5 years – I’ve stopped feeling ashamed that I don’t have it all figured out and that I don’t have the answers to those burning questions people like to ask (I think they ask because they have no idea either but are hoping you’ll provide inspiration!). And I really do believe that is because I turned 30. Or maybe it isn’t but I don’t care, I love this new mindset of mine.

    Oh and yes owning property is a big deal but not nearly as big a deal as it was for our parents/grandparents. Who by the way plan to live there for the rest of their lives!. The same house FOREVER? No thanks. I already agreed to be with one man forever, so all that commitment has been used up. We bought our first property three years ago. A gorgeous town house in a stunning area but it’s holding us back. Making bold moves (I’m talking career wise here) is a dramatic thing anyway, trying to do that while you have a bond to pay? Yeah I’m quivering in my boots here. I can’t do anything bold or dramatic because I have a bond to contribute towards. Every move I make needs to be a sure thing. Now THAT is pressure I never expected or experienced. I don’t regret it but I do wish we stayed young and carefree (I use this term loosely) just a little bit longer.

    There are however a few crappy things one MUST do in their twenties so that it doesn’t have to be obsessed with in your 30’s – retirement fund/annuity, a will, funeral plan, life cover etc. All of this must be set in place before property and cars and babies. These things determine your old age and how you live it. The younger you are when you do them, the better.

    So basically do what you can but don’t feel like there is a timer on it. Sort out your financials if for no other reason than you will stress less if you do. Create a vague path for your career so that you at least sort of know what direction to head towards. And if it changes? Create another vague plan.

    A great read to put try and put your mind at ease that we are all winging it in life- http://99u.com/articles/32985/nobody-knows-what-the-hell-they-are-doing

    Hang in there. I hated my twenties so I know exactly how you are feeling right now xxx

    1. I cannot thank you enough for this comment Kate. It makes so much sense! I was so scared of my thirties, I still am slightly but I feel like I am more excited for them now than scared.

      I cannot wait to get to that point where I can finally say if you don’t like me that’s fine. It is one of my biggest problems at the moment, constantly seeking approval and trying to people please which is flippen tiring and emotionally draining. So besides trying to get my life and myself in order, I am trying to make everyone around me happy so really, the twenties are a frikken nightmare!

      I have given myself two years to get myself sorted as far as finances go, I am doing the license (or at least the learners and driving lessons) this year and I am going to spend more time with myself and try to get to a good place within myself. I am also trying to force myself to be more assertive in all avenues so I have my work cut out for me BUT hopefully by the time I reach those thirties, I will have it somewhat figured out and will feel just like you do 🙂

      Thank you so much for the comment and for all the good tips because I really needed to hear them!

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