2016 is the year I turn 27 (it took me a while to figure this out, I even had to do the calculation) and that scares me shitless. Not because I am scared of getting older but because time is just moving so fast that I feel like I can’t keep up. I have mentioned here before how 25 was supposed to be the age where my life would be on track properly (this included owning a house, being married and having a kid or two). What a warped idea of life I had when I set that goal.
I still feel like I am 17. I make stupid mistakes daily, a lot of the time it’s the same mistakes over and over again. I am nowhere near to being a big shot in my career, I am even further from owning a house and I certainly do not feel like a 27 year old women, I mean I cannot even stand up for myself when something is irritating me, I choose to keep quiet, like a naïve 17 year old.
Why am I saying all of this again? Because of the pressure. I don’t know how normal it is to feel this much pressure in your twenties? How much can everything really change in three years? (I hope in three years I will look back on that question and answer it with a lot) Am I going to reach my thirties and still feel like I haven’t come far enough? Thirty is only three years away and I need about two of those to sort myself and my finances out.
I read so many blog posts by thirty something’s who look back on their twenties and wish that they had spent less time worrying because it all works out and I am sure it will for me eventually but in the meantime I have to deal with the reality and reality sucks – 27 with no savings? 27 with no plans on having kids anytime soon? 27 and in piles of debt? 27 and no drivers license? It is all so scary and daunting.
Of course, there are things I have done and achieved in my twenties but it is nowhere near where I want to be and that is due to mistakes, unrealistic timelines, comparison and life. Why we feel the need to put an age to a certain step in life is beyond me, but we do it and then we feel shit about it when we haven’t succeeded with out stupid timelines.
If you want to take the positive out of the twenties, it is that you learn and you start to find and know yourself which helps put you on the path for the rest of your life.
As you get older, time seems to go faster and you can either sink or swim. Right now, I am floating. I don’t feel like I am really getting anywhere but I haven’t sunk so I guess that’s something?