Shock, horror, you don’t drive?

I have mentioned my fear about driving on the blog before, so yes, I am 25 turning 26 in a month from today and I don’t have a drivers license. This is because the thought of driving and anything to do with it makes my anxiety shoot through the roof.

I get into a car and I freeze, I start to panic and I cannot listen to instruction, I feel like there is too much to do at one time, too much to think about while trying to do those too many things at one time. But it is not just this, I don’t like being on the road. I have seen horrific accidents and have been involved in two (of course I was not the driver) but both of those times, while nobody was seriously injured, it was not the hubby’s fault. Somebody smashed into the back of us (on the day of his 21st party actually) and the second time it was a rainy day on the freeway and somebody decided to change lanes which knocked the car next to them which then pushed us into the barrier. This proved to me, twice, that I can be a perfect driver but can still potentially be in a critical accident and that scares the living daylights out of me.

Of course, there are the other things that freak me out too, driving at night, breaking down, hijacking, changing a tyre on my own and all the expenses that come with owning a car.

Having a drivers license and owning a car is something that I do want, not only to be independent but also to overcome this very huge obstacle in my life (I see it as sort of a challenge, but one that I am still preparing to take on). It is something I would like to do before I become a mother because I just know that once I become a mother, everything I have, time, money, strength, will be devoted to my child. It also sort of gives me a timeline because it really is something I am going to have to work through (amongst my many other things I am currently working on) and will require a lot of focus and almost “selfishness” because it is such a big thing for me.

Having said of all this, the thought of overcoming my fears of driving and all that comes with it, is something that is also exciting. I know that when I do this, I will feel as though I can do anything which will allow me to not shy away from whatever challenges may come.

I always get a step ahead of myself and think about what will be one of the most exciting things (after actually overcoming my fears and then passing my license) which will be buying a car and maintaining it. I have wanted a little Daihatsu Charade for ages and always look at the ones available on Gumtree so that I can see prices and what sort of condition the cars available are, this gets me all riled up and I start thinking about budgets and things but then I quickly get brought back down to reality where I realise I have a far way to go.

At least I know when the time comes, there are some really reasonable options out there and now Gumtree has launched a autos guide which I just know will come in handy for when I get to that stage. There so many valuable tips on car maintenance, a list of car dealers and of course, the buy and sell section. This is a handy link to keep for any car owner and just proves that Gumtree has got our back when it comes to life and all these bits and bobs like DIY car maintenance.

I would love to hear about your driving experiences, fears, what age you tackled the dreaded test and if you have purchased a car from Gumtree

*Disclaimer: this is a sponsored post however words and scenarios are all my own and are very personal.

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9 thoughts on “Shock, horror, you don’t drive?

  1. Oh honey, that’s terrible. Driving can be scary but in time you learn to be alert and predict what the other idiots on the road are doing. I’m usually able to tell that a car is about to cut me off or swerve into my lane before it even happens.

    Take it slow and go at your own pace. Get comfortable with driving around your suburb in quiet roads and take it from there! Good luck!

    1. Thanks so much hun.
      So many people are not understanding about it and it upsets me so much because they don’t understand – it is not that I don’t want to drive because I really, really do, it is just such a HUGE thing for me and is not something I can change in a day.
      I am going to really work hard at it.
      Thanks for stopping by, for the comment and for the support – means so much!

      1. I’ve had times of anxiety driving before as well so I totally get it. Especially driving on the highway – I hate it 😦

  2. I finally got my driver’s license last year, just a few months before I turned 26, I passed on my 3rd try. I’ve only driven once since then, and then I had to pull over (luckily i was just in my suburb) because I started having a panic attack. Driving makes me SO anxious, I’m ok if I’m on a quiet road but I freak out if I have to go on a main road. I hate the uncertainty of what the other crazy people on the road might do, esp after my brother and I were in a crash two years ago that was entirely the other person’s fault. Luckily I live walking distance to my work, but I’m so scared of when I have to leave here and will have to buy a car and start driving again!

  3. You are definitely not alone in this, in fact, I feel like you’ve just summarised my thoughts on driving and put it into words.
    I’m turning 27 in a few weeks and I don’t have a licence. I’ve done the test (and failed) 4 times now. Driving makes me SO anxious and it’s so difficult to explain
    the anxiety to people drive. They will call you lazy and think you just don’t want to do it but they have no idea. I am lucky that I have a supportive fiance who
    understands how I feel about driving and so patient with me but it still makes me feel so useless that I have to depend on him to get around.
    We’ll get there though, I’m holding thumbs for both of us 🙂
    Have a wonderful day!

    1. Thank you so much for your comment Simone. It does help to know that I am not alone.
      It is absolutely terrifying and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
      I am also lucky that I have a supportive hubby too, although he can get a bit frustrated at times because I rely solely on him but he has gotten to the stage where he understands and isn’t pushy about it.
      We will get there. Keep me updated 🙂

  4. I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there. I can however tell you that the first step to overcoming this fear is to not think about it at all. The moment you think about it is the moment you come up with all of these scenarios that could happen. Also set a goal for yourself and don’t tell anybody. Mine was to have my drivers before 21 and when people know that it’s your goal they will bug you and constantly remind you. My last thing that I can advise you on is to instead of listing all the things that could go wrong, list the things that CAN go right like having your independence, being able to attend all of those blogger events that you couldn’t go to before.

    also let me add that driving gives you a confidence that you never knew you had. Things like driving at night becomes irrelevant. When you become a driver and you’re behind that wheel, you become so much more aware of things like cars cutting in and changing lanes that it becomes second nature and you’re able to respond to the situation in no time. I’ve almost been victim to a smash and grab and that’s how you learn to be more cautious. I drove over the guy’s feet that tried to smash my window and since that day I put my handbag in the boot instead of next to me.

    P.s excuse the long reply. I wish you all of the luck and with your fiery drive and ambition, I know you can do anything you put your mind to. Goodluck darling!.

    1. I actually cannot thank you enough for this comment Tasneem. This is some of the best advice I have received and I will definitely use it. I have never thought of making a list of pro’s and I really think that will help me!
      Sorry to hear about your smash and grab – one of the many things I am terrified of but I do need to stop focusing on the cons and what might happen.
      I will also think about the goal thing.
      Thank you again xxx

      1. My pleasure Kerry, You will get through this. I don’t think people who haven’t gone through something like this can and will understand you. I know how under pressure and demotivated you can feel about driving. Just don’t let people get to you. It’s easier said than done but it works. When you’re driving, drive in the slow lane at 60km/h, put a little music on so that you relax and don’t care about the cars behind you. If a car wants to pass you, then they should. It has nothing to do with you and in the back of your mind just remember that they have been in the same place where you are now. Nobody drives perfectly the first time they get in a car.

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