Let’s talk about Fifty Shades

I still haven’t seen the movie. I have read the books. I have also seen so many letters to women going around now that the movie is out – urging us not to watch the movie, telling us to think about the psychological side of this book/movie, advising us that this is abuse.

The concern is valid because this is the first book of its nature to go mainstream and it changed things, it gave more authors the guts to write about this topic, it created interest about “the lifestyle” and it has basically opened a whole can of worms which many don’t want to eat.

My argument is this; firstly, Fifty Shades is fiction and I am pretty sure we all know not to take fiction too seriously. Yes, the book is based on things that actually happen and what people actually do in their “relationships” but this book was never meant to be a life guide. There was no gun held to anyone’s head telling them to read it or that if they do, they must live that type of lifestyle.

The reason this book is so hyped and popular is because of the story beyond the “rough” sex scenes and abuse. Women love this book because they love the idea of someone loving them enough to change, to let them in. Women don’t literally want a Christian Grey (most of us would be petrified) but women do want cheesy romance, they wouldn’t mind a hugely successful and attractive man who basically falls for them instantly and is willing to do just about anything for them.
I enjoyed the story but that doesn’t mean I want it to be my story and I know many will agree with this statement.

I don’t feel like the book has made abuse acceptable. It also has not convinced someone to choose this lifestyle. If anyone wants to walk that path – they had it in them and would have eventually walked it with or without Fifty Shades. This lifestyle is something that many choose and enjoy and yes a lot of you will think that they have some psychological problems but who are we to judge?

I am in no way trying to defend the book or my reasoning for reading the book but I really don’t think women are so gullible that they are actually going to change or live their life according to the book? But maybe I am gullible for thinking that….

If you can remember a few years ago, every woman wanted to be Bella – every woman wanted to have two hot guys fighting over her. Edward Cullen was everything! People obsessed about Twilight but they didn’t go around biting each others neck did they? Twilight, just like Fifty Shades was fiction, it gave us a new story to love, new characters to envy, but not for the reasons all the anti’s think. Some people get overly engrossed and obsessed with novels yes, but that is not an authors fault.

Naturally I wouldn’t want my daughter (if I had one) to read this book and think that the way Christian treated Ana was at all acceptable but the way to teach young and even older women this, is not by trashing an authors work or even by trying to hide it. It is by educating each other. The fact that this book has brought the lifestyle into the open could be a good thing because it is educating.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic because it is highly debatable. Don’t attack me for my opinion, let’s play nice and each have a say.


5 thoughts on “Let’s talk about Fifty Shades

  1. To be honest, I don’t actually know. I probably would because I believe in each to their own when it comes to book choices…
    When I wrote that I had a young and naïve daughter in mind which obviously I would like to teach before she reads and thinks it is the “norm” or is just acceptable.

    1. Can’t wait to read it Gae. Tired of people thinking they know when they don’t. Everyone just assumes that because you read the book or watched the movie you are all of a sudden going to be part of the lifestyle or that you condone abuse. To me, this is not abuse because as much as it scares Ana in the beginning she starts enjoying it. The lifestyle is also not abuse when both people agree

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