On wedding pressure

So we have set our date (after being engaged for quite some time) and the planning has started but for a time it was more stressful than anything else because as we all know the minute the word wedding is added there is an upcharge of 100%.

I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted and after getting numerous quotes, looking around, spending hours on the net in the search of the perfect everything, I have done a complete 180. Why? because I didn’t enjoy one bit of it, every quote I got I was disappointing because it was beyond my budget, every venue I found which was so close to what I envisioned was going to cost me an arm and a leg and I need those for my wedding day so nah!

We don’t have a budget because we are still saving, how much will we have saved by 2 May 2015? I don’t know because we save whatever we can.

What was supposed to be a happy time had turned into a nightmare and I was ready to go to court if I am honest so something had to change and it did. I looked at my fiancé one night and thought to myself that there is no way I could have a bad day if I am by his side, there is no way I am going to care about what other people are saying when I am having the best time of my life and celebrating my new start as a Mrs.

So let’s talk about the 180 I did;

Firstly, I am a future thinker and more of a quantity than quality kinda gal so the thought of spending thousands and thousands of rands on ONE day made me feel sick to my stomach. R50K? That could buy me a car! R20K that could buy me the most amazing baby stuff (for when the baby comes) so I was doomed from the beginning because as much as I wanted the “perfect wedding” I just wasn’t willing to spend to get it.

Secondly, the fiancé and I are the most chilled couple, we are not the photo type (don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a selfie but am not the best in front of the camera with someone else behind the lens) we are also not flashy and are more than happy if we have some good snacks and a movie so would the “perfect wedding” be a representation of us and who we are? Or would it just be for show and to impress the attendees of the wedding.

Speaking of the attendees, I was actually thinking of them the whole time, of course I would because they are all loved ones but I was thinking about them a bit too much. Naturally, I wanted to impress and I wanted everyone to comment about how beautiful my wedding was but I wasn’t willing to pay top dollar just for them to say good things about my wedding and then forget about it in a week.

Who is the day actually for? And what is it all about? I had to remind myself of this over and over again because really the day is for us to come together, a celebration of our love and our new start and there I was thinking about everyone else.

In conclusion we have decided to go for a simple, small, chilled, super budget wedding suitable to us as a couple.

I have had a lot of the “won’t you regret it if you don’t do this or that” questions thrown at me and it really is a stupid thing to ask because how will I ever regret the day I marry my soul mate? I will be happy regardless of whether I have a professional cake made or a home made one! I will have the best time whether it is at some over priced venue or at home.

The meaning of a wedding has changed which just brings with it so much pressure and I am so thankful that I got off that wedding horse and carriage and have thought back to basics – basics being that it is a day to celebrate love and for two to join with their loved ones supporting them.

Watch out because budget bride is on the hunt for bargains.




7 thoughts on “On wedding pressure

  1. Oh Kerry, I’ve been there. I actually hated being engaged and cringe whenever I see people wishing newly-engageds “enjoy this special time”. When finances are an issue, there’s not much to enjoy. Don’t forget the day is about YOU as a couple. No one cares about the decor, the venue, the food. It’s all about the love that is felt in that room, and I’m 100% there’ll be PLENTY of it.

    1. That is how I felt, I just didn’t want to do any of it because it seemed impossible, but that was because I was being silly and not doing it my way.
      Thanks so much for your comment, it helps to know that there are others who have felt it but have been able to do it and be happy with it 🙂
      There will be SO MUCH love!

  2. DUDE! Best way.

    Mates of mine had a picnic wedding in a relative’s garden, with pizza they ordered in.The Bride spent R100 on her dress (thrift shop) and we all brought a bottle of wine. Most expensive thing was the minister.

    One of the best weddings I’ve ever been to X

  3. Hi Kez, Congrads on your wedding planning… It is the most stressful time but is so much fun! Dex and I decided to get married and set a date on the 12 April and we were married 3 weeks later on the 3rd May, so our whole wedding was done and sorted in 3 weeks! Don’t worry about what other people think(everyone will try get involved), the moment you get to the bottom of that aisle it’s all worth it! I still have a lot of the numbers if you looking for any help let me know!

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