We have hit day 17 and I hope everyone is still going strong because I know that this is the time it becomes a bit harder if you are anything like me,
It has been 17 days of absolutely clean eating and grueling exercise which I have definitely been enjoying but 17 days without chocolate has not been easy, 17 days of meal prep and cooking every single day and night and not a break in between because… no takeaways, has also been new to me. (Have I mentioned my dislike for cooking before?)
I am still feeling very motivated and excited but I do have my moments of weakness where my mind just torchers me because as much as I enjoy this new lifestyle and I am not struggling with hunger or anything, I still have those old habits in memory which tease me. I have also always just eaten what I wanted to and when I wanted to so I am now in the process of trying to forget those habits and memories and really embrace this new lifestyle whole heartedly.
As I write these things I always wonder if people think I am crazy or are judging me because actually, my struggles are small (I am complaining about food when at least I have some food) but the truth is unless you have been an overweight person who has gone through this process, you actually won’t understand any of this. In fact, maybe even some overweight people won’t understand this but I know there are some who will because the struggle might be small, but it is real.
Habits and addictions are hard to break, we all know this, and for many, myself included, food is a habit and an addiction. Therefore it is hard, there are struggles, there are times where people won’t understand how empty you feel because you can’t have that slab of chocolate while watching your favourite series but this is not about anyone else but you! So find people who will understand and possibly even help you through that moment of weakness. Keep yourself motivated by doing whatever it is that motivates you – whether it is looking at old pictures of yourself, reminding yourself about your wedding in a few months time, browsing Pinterest for quotes or admiring other people’s transformations.
So yes, there have been a few days recently where I wanted to just get a take away because I was too lazy to cook or wanted to fill the gap with something nice, but I haven’t, because that will not help me or my health, it will also not get me any closer to the destination I want to reach.
17 days in and I am feeling slightly “fragile” but I do know that I am nowhere near to giving in, and as each day passes, I am getting closer to goal weight, I am getting closer to a fit and healthy me and I am feeling better overall.
Despite the challenges I have already faced and the ones that I will face in this challenge, I can honestly say that the decision to participate and make this change is one of the best I have ever made.
I have started a Pinterest board – Challenge accepted which you can follow for some motivation, food ideas, etc.
Sometimes I get angry,
But then I think, where did anger get anyone?
Sometimes I am confused,
But then I realize that there are answers all around me.
Sometimes I feel lonely,
But then I remember that I am actually never alone.
Sometimes I am ungrateful,
But then I remember I have hot water in winter
Sometimes I am bored,
But then I think maybe I am not curious enough.
Sometimes I feel like this is the worst thing to ever happen to me
But then I remember that I have gotten through worse.
Sometimes I dream what seems impossible,
But then I remind myself to reach for the stars.
Sometimes I feel this life is unfair,
But then I remember that I am strong and unfair is for losers.
Sometimes I want more,
But then I realize that more will never be enough, I will always want more.
Sometimes I feel a little insecure,
But then I remind myself that I am unique
Sometimes I am scared,
But then I pray.
Sometimes I hate all those dirty dishes in the sink,
But then I feel gratitude that I have dishes.
Your mind is a powerful place, fill it with positivity and ALWAYS find a way to kick the negativity out.
So today is day 11 and I am feeling quite settled into my new routines and am getting the hang of all the food preparation (prep is such an important part in healthy eating).
I really cannot complain because I am still feeling so motivated, have ditched so many bad habits, have lost some weight, am feeling good and have awakened a little health fox inside of myself. Everything has become health and yes, it may be a little obsessive but it is with the aim of gaining all the knowledge that I can to prepare for a healthy lifestyle which continues after this challenge. It has even gone to the point that birthday list (birthday is in August, gifts are welcome) has done a complete 360, it has gone from fashion to fitness and now consists of a pair of awesome kicks, a Fitbit Flex and some weights. I know right, who am I?
Anyway, back to the challenge update, this week has had ups and downs which have mainly been because of the weather. Believe me when I say I cannot handle the cold! But it has ended on a high because I broke a very big habit – hot chocolate and have replaced it with tea (once again I ask, who am I?) and warm lemon water.
As for the exercise, it hasn’t gotten easier but that is because I keep on pushing – on Monday night I pushed myself to the point of nearly throwing up, I have been there many times but this was different, I really, really worked my body and felt it for most of this week.
I am still feeling so amazing and part of that is because I am working harder than I ever thought I would, I am pushing myself beyond the boundaries I unintentionally set for myself and I am just so excited for what’s to come.
I now face the weekend again and hope that this one will be easier than the last one. Motivational messages welcome :)
I listened to this song by Demi Lovato the other night and it has stuck with me since – she has gone through the struggles that many of us regulars have and this song shares with you her inner feelings and takes you on a journey so I thought it was appropriate to share since we are all in the process of looking for something, whether it is acceptance, self confidence or a happy life!
I’m losing myself
Trying to compete
With everyone else
Instead of just being me
Don’t know where to turn
I’ve been stuck in this routine
I need to change my ways
Instead of always being weak
I don’t wanna be afraid
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today
And know that I’m okay
Cause everyone’s perfect in unusual ways
So you see, I just wanna believe in me
The mirror can lie
Doesn’t show you what’s inside
And it, it can tell you you’re full of life
It’s amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile
I’m quickly finding out
I’m not about to break down
I guess I always knew
That I had all the strength to make it through
Not gonna be afraid
I’m going to wake up feeling beautiful today
And know that I’m okay
Cause everyone’s perfect in unusual ways
So you see, now, now I believe in me
Now I believe in me
A full week of full on training and clean eating has got me feeling amazing! Despite having two rough days because of the weather and wanting to go back to old habits, I really cannot complain because I just feel so good!
To be honest, I didn’t expect it to be this way, I didn’t expect to feel so good so soon, I didn’t expect myself to be excited to get home to do my workout and I certainly didn’t think I would want to do another workout an hour after already having done one. I also expected to be hungry all the time but I’m just not!
I am not saying it isn’t hard because when my legs are burning and shaking and my heart is just about breaking through my chest it is pounding so hard, it is SO hard and on Sunday when I could just about taste that hot chocolate in my mouth because I wanted it so badly, it was bloody hard BUT the way I am feeling makes me instantly forget all of that. A few minutes after my workout I have forgotten about the jelly legs and dying and I just feel good – I feel motivated and I feel proud of myself. Today, after having got through two cold days and not having a single sip of hot chocolate, I feel excited because I have proven to myself – my worst enemy, that I can do it!
I could kick myself (a few times now actually with my fitness in progress) for not living this life earlier. It cannot be put into words what I was doing to my body, but basically, it was disgusting and WHY? For a few moments of flavor, a second or two of delight? I now feel a whole day of goodness which actually cannot be compared to those few moments!
To me, the way I am feeling is really surprising because how a week can make such a big difference is almost unreal but who doesn’t like surprises? And I welcome this one with open arms.
I did get on the scale this morning and I was happy with the results, however I am not going to share them just yet because I want to keep it to myself until the end where I can give you the final number and share the before and after pics with you.
One week down, 12 more to go!
P.S. This is my life right now