Woah, stop the rules!

I wrote a post a while ago about wearing what you want and it received some good feedback, this is sort of a follow up post because seeing titles like “Avoid this fashion faux pas” or “How to wear this if you are a certain body type” or “Do not wear this with that” irritate me just as much as they did the day I wrote that piece.

I must admit that I was guilty of this because I do write fashion pieces for some publications and also did the “do’s and don’ts” articles but have given that up for a while now because it is something I am so against!

I am all for tips, tips are good and can genuinely help but when it becomes a rule, then we are heading into irritation territory. Irritation because they are so contradictory to what fashion is supposed to be about – self expression. Am I not right in saying that only you know yourself therefore you know what you like and what you don’t, you know how you would like to wear things, you know what suits your body, despite being told that if you are an apple shape you must NOT wear this?

It becomes even worse when the article is for “plus size” people because apparently there are even more rules for ladies with bigger curves, a larger bust or a good set of “boude”.

It does not make you any less of a “fashionista” for not following the rules now does it? In fact, it makes you interesting because if I see you in the crowd colour blocking with six different colours rather than two or three, I am going to notice you and you are going to be interesting.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that to love fashion or be fashionable you must be eccentric and out there but perhaps you shouldn’t follow all those irritating rules because an appreciation of fashion is an appreciation of a form of art and art should not be copied, it should be created so YOU have to create your style.

Forgive me for being a grouch but I am bored to death of the fashion content we are given, I am tired of the stupid rules and I am over the judgment.

My SAFW picks

It just so happens that two of my favourite collections from the SAFW catwalk are by Durban designers. Hanrie Lues and Thembeka Yadah both designed ranges that excited me and that targeted the different sides of my personal style.

Hanrie Lues is a firm favourite of mine because we both share a love of vintage and classic inspired clothing. Her use of textures was superb and the colour palette of this collection was on point.

*click on pics to enlarge*

This was the stand out piece for me (because I love maxi skirts and what better way to compliment it with some knit) I will definitely be taking inspiration from this for A/W 2015.

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On the other hand, we have Thembeka Yadah’s range which was bold, eccentric and printastic. Of course this spoke to the print queen in me.

I must have this!

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These picks are based on my personal style and what I would love to be wearing in A/W15. There were many great collections which the experts will tell you all about :)

*Image source: SDR

My reading list

“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! — When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.” ~ Jane Austen in Pride & Prejudice

CURRENTLY READING

I found a really cool list of books to read yesterday and started with one of them last night.

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Fast friends since they met at Brown University during their freshman year, Jessica Pan and Rachel Kapelke-Dale vowed to keep in touch after their senior year through in-depth—and brutally honest—weekly e-mails. After graduation, Jess packs up everything she owns and moves to Beijing on a whim, while Rachel heads to New York to work for an art gallery and to figure out her love life. Each spends the next few years tumbling through adulthood and reinventing themselves in various countries, including France, China, and Australia. Through their messages from around the world, they swap tales of teaching classes of military men, running a magazine, and flirting in foreign languages, along with the hard stuff: from harrowing accidents to breakups and breakdowns.

Reminiscent of Sloan Crosley’s essays and Lena Dunham’s Girls, Graduates in Wonderland is an intimate, no-holds-barred portrait of two young women as they embark upon adulthood.

TO READ

Also found on the list

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Following the success of her breakout poem, “B,” Sarah Kay releases her debut collection of poetry featuring work from the first decade of her career. No Matter the Wreckage presents readers with new and beloved work that showcases Kay’s knack for celebrating family, love, travel, history, and unlikely love affairs between inanimate objects (“Toothbrush to the Bicycle Tire”), among other curious topics. Both fresh and wise, Kay’s poetry allows readers to join in on her journey of discovering herself and the world around her. It’s an honest and powerful collection.

ON PRE ORDER

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Jessica Beam is one hot mess. She knows how to have fun (cider, men and the snooze button usually have something to do with it) but lately she’s been forgetting how to turn up for work on time. Or in clean clothes. Suddenly finding herself out of a job, out of luck with her friends and thrown out of her flat, she tracks down her only family: her grandmother, in Kensington. She’s never met Matilda Beam before but hungover beggars can’t be choosers.

Things aren’t going quite so well for Grandma, either. Her 1950s Good Woman guide books are out of print, her mortgage is staggering and her granddaughter apparently wears neon Wonderbras. But when a publisher throws them a lifeline – a new contract if they can prove the Good Woman guides still work – Jess and Matilda have to work together if they want a roof over their heads.

Changing modern party girl Jess into a refined vintage lady is no mean feat and the true test of their makeover will be capturing the heart of snobby London playboy Leo Frost. It’s going to take dedication, a seriously pointy bra and nerves of steel to pull it off

For the little and big girls

This post has been one of my most popular to date and through sharing and commenting on other blogs with a similar topic I had a mother confess to me the troubles of her beautiful young daughter (I will keep this lovely mother anonymous) but I have seen her daughter, I have heard stories about her daughter so in a way I “socially” know her daughter and she is a beautiful, intelligent girl with a bright future in front of her, unfortunately the light of this future could be dimmed by the world, by the media industry, by little girls in her school.

In primary school, the body goes through changes, for some these changes happen earlier than others, for some this change is welcomed but for the majority, this change is dreaded and hated because of that same world, that same media industry and those same little school girls I mentioned earlier.

The story really brought out emotions in me and after a few days thought I now know that there are three reasons why; The first being it really hit home, the second is that I have decided that I want to fight, fight for women and their bodies. Lastly, the thought of a young girl who should be celebrating beautiful body changes which are paving the way for her to grow into an amazing young lady not embracing the changes because of teasing and nastiness makes me incredibly sad!

I developed earlier than most of the girls in Primary school and was also subjected to some teasing, some questions, some embarrassment and a stare here or there. Because of this I wore baggy shirts, I tried to hide my womanly bits and I even formed a hatred against them. So I understand and I am scared…

I am scared for the way girls are growing up, obviously the body obsessions of adults, their mothers, their sisters, their favourite celebs and magazines are going to influence the way they feel about themselves and the way they will feel towards their bodies so I want to say to the little girls;

Don’t be afraid of the changes, they are natural, they are beautiful and you may not realize it now but these are vital elements of growing up and becoming a woman. They are also inevitable so whether you want them to happen or not, they are going to so when they do, embrace them! You may get teased, you may not like how it feels or how it looks BUT just imagine that these womanly changes didn’t happen? You wouldn’t be able to have your own children, you wouldn’t grow up to be like your mom or sister. Your body is your everything and believe me when I say it never lets you down so appreciate it, love it and enjoy it. Your body is you, your body is your life!

Even as adults, there are millions of women who still hate the changes, who still feel the need to constantly change themselves so to them I say;

Be grateful! Your body has taken you through years of fun, love, excitement, adventure. Without it what would you be? How can you hate something that is yours and that will forever be yours on earth? You know deep down that you cannot look like anyone else so stop wishing for that, stop putting your body and mind through the traumatic experience of hate and diet pills, quick fixes and pressure.

To every woman, young or old, embrace it, love it, enjoy it,

In your twenties

You are going to make a budget but not stick to it and eat 2 minute noodles for the last week of the month.

You are going to be confused about kids and if you are willing to put someone else’s needs before yours, especially if you have a shopping addiction.

You are going to be jealous of every other twenty year old who seems to have their shit together.

You might dread reaching your thirties because it seems so old.

You will hate yourself or your clothes or your cat who doesn’t want to give you love when you want love at some point.

You are going to have girl crushes (maybe that’s just me?)

People will ask when you are going to have a baby

Things will seem to be more expensive because you are now spending your own money.

You will have to cook every night which will either make you happy or very, very sad

But you are also going to,

Be on the road to finding yourself or perhaps already be at YOUR destination.

Have a career.

Have filtered through all the bullshit people to find the real ones.

Have some money, not much, but some and it will be yours!

Have forgotten about high school crap

Have hopefully found a good set of friends

Perhaps be getting married

Starting your adult life, for real.

Experiment

Be broody (maybe)

Your twenties are a confusing, exciting, scary time of life, but I think that is just life so we may as well get used to it and enjoy the emotions, and the cooking (NOT)

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This is twenty something me, experimenting with orange lips and different faces

 

 

A powerful message to start your day

This morning the lovely Cath Jenkin shared these on Facebook and being one of the first things I saw, these have set the tone for today which I have now decided is acceptance day!

These are powerful and speak to so many women that I couldn’t not share. They are done by Brazilian illustrator Carol Rossetti who I am now following on Facebook. It was so hard to choose one or two few to feature because so many of them touch those soft spots so I have shared quite a few but believe me they are all worth reading, enjoy!

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Dear Lena Dunham

First off I must say I am obsessed with you, kind of how you obsessed over death, maybe a little less, but either way, I am obsessed!

I just finished reading your book Not That Kind of Girl and I really enjoyed it, there were lessons in there (perhaps not all the ones I was expecting and I am really hoping for another book which answers our questions and in which you can teach us more). I laughed so many times and because of watching Girls and Tiny Furniture and following you on social media (not in a stalkerish way, but more as an admirer) I found myself thinking “that’s so Lena” or “I could imagine Lena doing that.” You have opened yourself up to us so we feel like we sort of know you and it is so refreshing because you know this world and you know your industry, nobody is transparent and everybody tries to hide their flaws but not you. It makes you real, it makes you a modern day heroine and it makes you a good role model and teacher.

After reading your book I realized we have a lot in common, I don’t have OCD (that I know of) but I do obsess over certain things (not on an extreme level, which is why I don’t think I have OCD) and I have also thought I have had multiple diseases and problems with myself that I actually didn’t. I too am a writer (not established but I love it so much I don’t necessarily need to be). We both adore Taylor Swift (this wasn’t in your book but I know from social media) and we both wear panties (sometimes even granny ones). I have also been a yoyo dieter and have kept food diaries.

You may carry five different types of pills in your bag, have a history with veganism and have had some dodgy sexual experiences but you are real. And what the world needs more of is real! I felt empowered and inspired after reading your book because you have always been YOU and look where you have gotten yourself with determination, passion, charm, self love, honesty, transparency and a touch of crazy so I can be fine as myself and succeed too. Now that I think about it I don’t think one can succeed long term without being yourself.

You have made so many things okay which I know SO many women are grateful for! You are just like us, hungry, sometimes fearful and confused.

You have also made me learn to appreciate and “idolize” for lack of a better word things beyond good fashion, a toned body, a good hair do and a great pose on the red carpet. People look up to you not because you are a celebrity but because you are genuine!

Most of the time I hate this world we live in, the body obsessions, the fear of even the smallest things and the pressure but then someone like you comes along and makes it better by breaking the mould.

You are that person that if I was given the chance to meet anyone dead or live I would choose because you fascinate me.

P.S can I have these sunnies?

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