My new view on food

We are basically one month into the Well I am challenge and I can honestly say I am more focused and motivated than I have ever been, maybe it is because I really want to get to a good weight, maybe it is because of the prize money, maybe it is because it is a challenge and who can take a challenge lightly? But whatever it is, I am thankful for the focus and motivation because it has pushed me so hard and after a month, I have learnt so much about myself, my body and eating.

A month ago, I viewed food in an unhealthy way, food was my way to pass time and get through boredom, food was my comfort, food was my addiction, my life kind of revolved around food. Even if I was on a very tight budget and went to do my weekly shopping, I would make sure to have enough money left to buy my weekly slab of chocolate and packet of chips which I would eat in one sitting, while on my ass for a whole weekend. So what has changed in a month? The fact that I am eating what is right for my body and I haven’t died yet, I haven’t died of heartache, I haven’t died of boredom and I certainly haven’t died from not buying my weekly binge.

Food is a 10-15 minute (depending on how long you take to eat) activity which actually doesn’t change anything in your life except hunger. It doesn’t make bad feelings or depression disappear, it doesn’t make you enjoy your life anymore, it doesn’t create happiness and peace, all it does is refuel and you can choose to refuel in a good or bad way which can lead to either bad feelings and depression or create happiness and peace with oneself.

For 15 minutes of good taste you can undo a day or even a weeks worth of progress. I had a Snickers bar yesterday because I really felt like one and while I was eating it (which took 2 seconds) it tasted so good but a second afterwards the taste was gone but the sugar and fat was still in my body. I didn’t feel guilty afterwards because I really did want it and I have done so well that one cheat couldn’t hurt but I did realize how short that moment of enjoyment actually is. That saying a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips came to mind. So I must ask why our relationship with food is so messed up? We feel like we cannot live without junk food, we feel like our life is over when someone is eating pizza next to us, our mind keeps telling us we want this and we want that, but really, we don’t need it.

Maybe the fact that I feel so damn good while eating healthy is also helping my new views on food because it is simple, I feel like crap when I eat crap and I feel good when I put good things into my body. Why we all make it so complicated and difficult I don’t know because the proof is in the pudding.

I never thought I would be one of those people who would buy bottled water, I never expected my life to change so much when I decided to do this challenge, and I never thought it was possible to view food as fuel and to change my relationship with it. But I am that person, I am slowly becoming that health freak and I love it!

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17 days in

We have hit day 17 and I hope everyone is still going strong because I know that this is the time it becomes  a bit harder if you are anything like me,

It has been 17 days of absolutely clean eating and grueling exercise which I have definitely been enjoying but 17 days without chocolate has not been easy, 17 days of meal prep and cooking every single day and night and not a break in between because… no takeaways, has also been new to me. (Have I mentioned my dislike for cooking before?)

I am still feeling very motivated and excited but I do have my moments of weakness where my mind just torchers me because as much as I enjoy this new lifestyle and I am not struggling with hunger or anything, I still have those old habits in memory which tease me. I have also always just eaten what I wanted to and when I wanted to so I am now in the process of trying to forget those habits and memories and really embrace this new lifestyle whole heartedly.

As I write these things I always wonder if people think I am crazy or are judging me because actually, my struggles are small (I am complaining about food when at least I have some food) but the truth is unless you have been an overweight person who has gone through this process, you actually won’t understand any of this. In fact, maybe even some overweight people won’t understand this but I know there are some who will because the struggle might be small, but it is real.

Habits and addictions are hard to break, we all know this, and for many, myself included, food is a habit and an addiction. Therefore it is hard, there are struggles, there are times where people won’t understand how empty you feel because you can’t have that slab of chocolate while watching your favourite series but this is not about anyone else but you! So find people who will understand and possibly even help you through that moment of weakness. Keep yourself motivated by doing whatever it is that motivates you – whether it is looking at old pictures of yourself, reminding yourself about your wedding in a few months time, browsing Pinterest for quotes or admiring other people’s transformations.

So yes, there have been a few days recently where I wanted to just get a take away because I was too lazy to cook or wanted to fill the gap with something nice, but I haven’t, because that will not help me or my health, it will also not get me any closer to the destination I want to reach.

17 days in and I am feeling slightly “fragile” but I do know that I am nowhere near to giving in, and as each day passes, I am getting closer to goal weight, I am getting closer to a fit and healthy me and I am feeling better overall.

Despite the challenges I have already faced and the ones that I will face in this challenge, I can honestly say that the decision to participate and make this change is one of the best I have ever made.

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I have started a Pinterest board – Challenge accepted which you can follow for some motivation, food ideas, etc.

 

Sometimes I

Sometimes I get angry,

But then I think, where did anger get anyone?

Sometimes I am confused,

But then I realize that there are answers all around me.

Sometimes I feel lonely,

But then I remember that I am actually never alone.

Sometimes I am ungrateful,

But then I remember I have hot water in winter

Sometimes I am bored,

But then I think maybe I am not curious enough.

Sometimes I feel like this is the worst thing to ever happen to me

But then I remember that I have gotten through worse.

Sometimes I dream what seems impossible,

But then I remind myself to reach for the stars.

Sometimes I feel this life is unfair,

But then I remember that I am strong and unfair is for losers.

Sometimes I want more,

But then I realize that more will never be enough, I will always want more.

Sometimes I feel a little insecure,

But then I remind myself that I am unique

Sometimes I am scared,

But then I pray.

Sometimes I hate all those dirty dishes in the sink,

But then I feel gratitude that I have dishes.

Your mind is a powerful place, fill it with positivity and ALWAYS find a way to kick the negativity out.

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Day #11 and feeling good

So today is day 11 and I am feeling quite settled into my new routines and am getting the hang of all the food preparation (prep is such an important part in healthy eating).

I really cannot complain because I am still feeling so motivated, have ditched so many bad habits, have lost some weight, am feeling good and have awakened a little health fox inside of myself. Everything has become health and yes, it may be a little obsessive but it is with the aim of gaining all the knowledge that I can to prepare for a healthy lifestyle which continues after this challenge. It has even gone to the point that birthday list (birthday is in August, gifts are welcome) has done a complete 360, it has gone from fashion to fitness and now consists of a pair of awesome kicks, a Fitbit Flex and some weights. I know right, who am I?

Anyway, back to the challenge update, this week has had ups and downs which have mainly been because of the weather. Believe me when I say I cannot handle the cold! But it has ended on a high because I broke a very big habit – hot chocolate and have replaced it with tea (once again I ask, who am I?) and warm lemon water.

As for the exercise, it hasn’t gotten easier but that is because I keep on pushing – on Monday night I pushed myself to the point of nearly throwing up, I have been there many times but this was different, I really, really worked my body and felt it for most of this week.

I am still feeling so amazing and part of that is because I am working harder than I ever thought I would, I am pushing myself beyond the boundaries I unintentionally set for myself and I am just so excited for what’s to come.

I now face the weekend again and hope that this one will be easier than the last one. Motivational messages welcome :)

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